Julie....WHY do you run?

I am standing outside with a good friend of mine, we are watching our combined 7 monsters play in the back yard and talking about how life as a parent changes you. I have changed considerably since Cameron entered this world.... I like to think I've changed for the better, but a lot of the friends I've lost touch with in those 7 years would probably disagree.........anyhow....

So, nameless friend says, well, since I've only known you WITH kids in tow, why do you run.

***insert screeching brake sound here***

***insert cricket chirping sound here***

me: uhmmm, wellllllll, why do I run? Really, why do I run?

Becasue I'm good at it? no.

Because I wanna be good at it? no.

Honestly, I run because it's cheap, and addicting. Period, point blank, that's it in a nut shell.

I think my most profound run was the measly little 1.26 miles I ran after my gramma passed away. I knew my gramma my entire life. I've never lost anything that I had had for that long. And, with no warning, no signs of it happeneing in the near future, out of nowhere, she gets a severe upset stomach, is hospitalized, falls into a coma, and meets her maker within 24 hours. And, I was a wreck. An absloute mess. My sister and I have never needed each other so badly in our lives. It is (to date) the WORST thing my heart has ever had to endure, ever. It has only been 5 months, and I still haven't been to the cemetery, I still haven't fully accepted that she is gone, and I still cry a lot. But I run.

She passed away on a Saturday. I was numb through saturday, and sunday. I forced myself to go run Tuesday. I didn't want to, not out of laziness, but because I did not want to be alone with God. I was furious. I was hurt. I was mad. I was so very angry. I didn't know what to do, or how to yell at Him for taking **MY** gramma. I did NOT want to run ever again. But, I did. I ran probably the slowest mile of my life, becasue I was crying, wailing, sobbing, snotting, puking, and screaming.......and when I got done, I sat in my van and let it all out. I cried for my dad who lost his mother, I cried for my kids who lost their great-gramma, I cried for my husband who dearly loved my gramma, I cried for my sister who lost her gramma, I cried for my gramma's sister Shirley who was now the only one left in her family.....I cried a lot.

I had a 5K Ramp Run the following Sunday, and I did not want to run it, I hadn't gotten any real runs in that whole week, and I was still miserable. On the way to the race, something profound happened. I began to laugh. It occured to me, Gramma can now come to every single race I have. Every one of them. She can see me do something most people don't do. I ran that race and felt physically miserable, but spiritually happy, and, as corny as it is, I knew gramma was there. I wound up placing in my age group for the first time ever that day, and I know I made gramma proud.

But, why do I run???

I run

through sorrow

through guilt

through debt

through parenting blunders

through stress

through the finish line

through the doubt

through the pessimism

through the worry

through self conflict

through soul searching

I run for me, because of me, with me

I run with God

I search for answers

I run because, well, becasue I can.

Tower Run Extreme 8K ~ Michigan City, IN

This is our bib wall as of 9-12-10...we have logged 145.5 miles so far, with 9854.5 miles to go in the next 42 years (which means we each need to average 117.3 miles per year until we hit our 50th wedding anniversary!!!!)

Us, at home after the run......thanks to photographer Jackie for the quick pic!

Chris, ready to tackle the Tower Run 8K!!!!

We woke up Sunday morning to sunshine and a house full of kids.....my fave way to wake up :-) But, with a grueling race standing between us and the rest of the day. We got dressed, and Chris went to get the babysitter while I got the monsters up and fed. This was the first time we've ever left after the kids woke up, so I was a bit nervous about how Jill was going to handle seeing me leave, and having the babysitter stay.......The kids were eating when Chris and sitter got back, we said our byes and hopped in the car. We wanted to get there a bit early, we've never done this race, and we wanted to avoid the get there and line up-ness that happened at the Panic......We arrived at about 8:30, easy parking and packet pick-up, race starts at 9am. Whew -- what a relief to not be rushing before the race. We got our bibs on, visited the bathrooms (thumbs up for indoor plumbing at a race) and studied the course map. We wound up talking to a guy who actually got lost last year, so we tried to really study the map!!! They did pre-race announcements (with a caution on how to stay on the course!!) and then the group of us (only 164 runners and 15 walkers -- the walkers did a 5K walk) headed over to the start line. My whole goal for this race was to come in under 60 minutes.... It is a point-to-point measured 8K, which means they measure from point A to point B to point C, however the easiest way to get from point A to point B will likely involve you adding more distance b/c the terrain is impassable, or too hazardous. 8K is 4.97 miles, but rarely anyone does this 8K in less than 5 miles!!!

We start off by running through the parking lot down a path to the beach. I HATE RUNNING ON THE BEACH!!!! We have about .67 miles to run on the beach itself, which almost EVERYONE went down to the water to run on the packed sand waterfront (thus adding mileage), to get out of the beach was a slight uphill to the dune that was a severe sand uphill to the boardwalk... I don't think anyone ran up the dune -- it was super soft, loose sand, and VERY hard to even walk on, let alone run or jog. After this part we head into a trail area around Lake Kai, here we spend the next 1.37 miles running on a loose sand/packed sand/ mushy weeded area around the lake -- they actually hung little pink markers out there to help us keep the course. 90% of the journey around the lake was a single path, no room for passing (or walking without pissing off the people behind you) Once it doubled out to two lanes, I hopped in the left lane to walk.... I knew from the course map that there was about .3 miles of double lanes here, and after we got out of the trail, it was all road and pavement.....so I decided to walk till then, so I could hit the road with fresh legs to give it my all. Once we hit the end of said trail, I started running again, and ALOT of the people who passed me while I walked the trail were now forced to walk the pavement due to fatigue from running those 2+ sand miles....hmmmph, silly people. I passed nearly everyone who passed me while I sand-walked, except for one girl -- and I spent the rest of the race trying to catch her (I never did -- we kept the same pace and while she never gained on me, I never gained on her either) We hit the 3 mile mark and things were going well -- I was really disappointed with my time thus far, but thought I could make some time up before monster hill. There were a few small hills in the middle section, though nothing too big or too treacherous. Then, we round the corner to Monster Hill. This baby seemed straight up, and I mean STRAIGHT up... my Garmin had it at 227 foot ascent, and 496 feet long, I have no idea what kind of grade that is, I just know this thing was brutal!! I walked up the steepest part of the hill, then we round a corner, have a slight downhill, then another slight uphill, then we get to the cement steps to get to the water tower (the Tower part of the Tower Run) The steps are those annoying 6 inch riser steps -- you know, the ones that are really hard to run b/c your feet naturally wanna do an 8-10 inch step......and they were about 18-24 inches deep, just completely un-natural for your body to adapt to easily....after making your way up the steps we had to do a lap around the water tower, then back down monster hill. I had seen Chris coming down the hill as I was going up, and I assumed we were almost done (my Garmin had the hill at mile 4.21) As I round the corner after coming down the hill, things got really confusing. The walkers went one way (to the finish chute) and the runners had to go another way. At this point I was really pretty much alone, and just trying to follow the signs for where to go. There were volunteers out there -- but most of them were on their cell phones and not paying any attention to the racers!!! At one point, I went down a hill and was rounding a corner when I heard people yelling at me to get back on the course -- I had run right past a volunteer and she never even told me I was off course!!!! So, I had to back-track (UP the hill) to get back on course!!! After that, I was feeling really discouraged, and not knowing where the finish is was making it really hard. i couldn't rely on my Garmin b/c I had no idea exactly how long the race would be when ran with my terrain choice, so I tried to stay positive and focus on my breathing! As I went up the last hill, I was praying, literally praying, that God would grant me the strength to finish this, and to finish it running. A volunteer at the top of that hill told me I was almost done, and to finish strong, and she has no idea how wonderful that sounded right then!!!! I glanced at my Garmin to discover that I was in the 51 minute range, and I had less than 9 minutes to finish this -- and I had NO idea how far I was from the end!!!! A little ways further, I heard the cheering of the finish line, and Mr. Hotness yelling at me to finish strong. I had nothing left in me to sprint the finish so I coasted in. This race was really, really tough and physically and mentally demanding!!! I know it was really tough b/c the guy who won it ran a 6:14 pace (5 mile winners are usually in the 4:57-5:03 range!!!!) It was really nice to sit down afterwards and dump the sand outta my shoes -- there was so much sand in my shoes, that it actually made my shoes too small and gave me blisters from running in shoes that my feet were crammed into while sharing space with the sand!!!! Chris went to check the times, and came back to tell me I got 4th in my age group -- I missed 3rd by less than a minute!!! But, you know, aside from running off course for about 25-30 seconds, I can not think of anywhere that I could have given more to make up that time to take 3rd place -- I really feel like I gave it just about all I had, so I am happy with being the first loser in my age group for this race!!!

We will definitely do this race again next year, but we are planning on cramming 3 races into 2 days next year :-) Just for the "yeah, we did it" privileges :-)

It was also nice to know that my sitter was taking care of the monsters, and Jackie agreed to head over to feed them lunch b/c we were gonna be a bit later for this race.....I am so grateful to have so many people who love me and help me take care of my babies!!!!

Finish Stats:

(I wound up running 5.15 miles.....no idea what C ran b/c he forgot his Garmin at home :-O)

Chris:

48:38 ~~ finish

9:46 ~~ average pace per mile

7th out of 10 male 30-34

69 out of 164 runners

Julie:

53:49 ~~ finish time

10:48 ~~ average pace per mile

4th out of 10 female 30-34

105 out of 164 runners

Popcorn Panic, Valpo, 5 mile race

Us, at home after the race -- we were soaked and freezing!!!!! I wanted a hot shower and some hot tea ASAP!!!!

Saturday morning dawned dreary and gloomy and wet. YUCK -- not my fave way to wake up, at all!!!! We were kidless, the monsters (all 4 of them) stayed at Gramma's house for the night b/c we had back to back races and I can't afford to pay the sitter twice in one weekend......

The race started at 7:30, so we left the house at 6:30, well, 6:35 by the time we actually left.....we got up to Valpo at about 7:05 (we were already cutting it close time-wise!!!) and, then, GASP!!!!!!!! there is NOWHERE to park....freakin NOWHERE..we actually drove around for 15 solid minutes to find a space...thankfully, we are borrowing C's parents car b/c my van is sick, so we finally found a spot for the little car to fit. Then we high-tailed it (yeah, I said it...HIGH-TAILED) over to the registration tent to get our bibs and shirts....all they have left is XL, perfect for Chris, not so good at all for me.....I have recently discovered that I may be just a teensy little bit smaller than I think, and I need a size small, not XL...but, I take the shirt, b/c I paid for it. It is raining and chilly, and overall miserable, and the race starts in just 6 minutes. I have an upset stomach and REALLY need to 'use' the bathroom (this is a common occurrence when I don't KNOW that my kids are OK.....there are very few people I trust whole-heartedly with my darling little monsters, and my mom is in the maybe-trust-her-category....something about alcohol consumption and children don't mix well) So, Chris decided to run the shirts back to the car while I hit the porta-potty......I am so cold and wet that I threw my shirt on over the l/s tech tee I had on, I had to knot it in the back, but I was infinitely warmer, and drier. I stand in line, and realize, that I am in fact a princess (Chris's new nickname for me as of lately) I can NOT "use" any bathroom but my own at home (ugh -- pretty inconvenient for this whole racing thing we do) I manage to pee, and I realize the race starts in 2.5 minutes...and I have no idea where C is......I finally see him, and he still has to "use" the bathroom -- no worries though, he's a pro at this (guess that's what 3 years of driving a semi over-the-road will do for ya) and we manage to line up, LITERALLY 30 seconds before the cannon (yeah, a real freakin cannon, a really LOUD cannon) goes off! Chris takes off right away, and I settle into my normal easy pace of about 9:20-9:30 for the first mile.....I like to take the first one slow, especially in anything longer than a 5K, it gives people a chance to thin out, I don't like competing for my little corner to run in during the race......I am feeling pretty good about the run, nothing hurts, aches or throbs -- always a good feeling during a race!!!

This is a pretty flat course, there are 2 hills, one is at about the 2.5-3 mile mark, and it is (according to my Garmin) 197 foot ascent, but it is pretty short -- it's one of those look-down-at-your-feet-and-gut-your-way-up-the-hill-and-you'll-live hills. I hit the 3 at 27:something and was feeling GREAT!!! I knew I had a good race in me, but I also knew we have a killer extreme 8K tomorrow, so I decided to NOT give everything today, so that I could race tomorrow too.....I was having fun using my Garmin (thanks Jackie) and letting everyone know where we were and what our current pace was, and how much race was left. Once we hit the 4, I decided to kick it up to 4th gear -- I like to run most races in about 3rd gear, so I can leave some for a good strong finish, or unexpected terrain. I knew this course ended uphill (we did it last year) so I was reserving some for that -- once we rounded the final turn and I saw the finish hill, I stayed in "4th" gear, b/c it was a hill after all.... I am proud to say that this hill kicked my butt last year, but I must be doing something right b/c the hill was really nothing to my and my thighs this year!!! I finished at a relaxed pace, and saw Chris right before the finish chute, and found out that he ran a 41:something!!! Ohhhhhhh, my jealousy spiked!!! I have since become quite proud of him (while retaining some jealously --the guy NEVER runs to train, but his job is psycho-physically-demanding) We are sure to do this run again next year -- It is Chris's favorite run (I think that's because it was the first race he ever beat me in -- and he has beat me in every race since then!!!)

Finish Stats:

Chris:

41:08 ~~ finish

8:14 ~~ pace per mile

32 out of 49 male 30-34

298 out of 920 racers

Julie:

45:29 ~~ finish

9:06 ~~ pace per mile

21 out of 65 female 30-34

502 out of 920 racers